This is my story of how I became a Hypnotherapist & Life Coach. My journey is a deeply personal one, as you will see, I am motivated to continue and develop my work by the fantastic results I have experienced in my life and the effect it has had on the rest of my family. I want to help others who feel trapped, as I did, to take back or change their life and have a brighter future.
After an industrial injury at work I became a house husband, raising my 2 sons and keeping the home while my wife continued with her career and kept us all going. As time went on I felt the slow loss of my identity and my dignity, I could not be bothered to shave or wash and my roll in the home was considered by many (including extended family) to be that of a scrounger and a layabout, which made my feelings of worthlessness worse and my discomfort increased with my stress levels.
My days passed by comfort and boredom eating and wallowing over my disability and my crap life while watching everyone else progressing. Soon I had reached a weight of 28 + stones, I had lower spine degeneration and I developed type 2 diabetes which I felt, at that time, had put the last nail in my coffin.
It was the death of my father age 62, that made me realise that life is to valuable to waste. I had watched the way my father had bravely fought against his illness and pain right up to the very last days and I decided enough was enough and started on a journey to recovery and FREEDOM from the prison I felt trapped in THIS WAS THE "CROSS ROADS OF MY LIFE".
I wanted a brighter future for me and my family, I wanted to take back control and my identity, I wanted my dignity back. I needed to focus on my recovery which was to be slow and progressive, this included reducing my 27 stone frame, starting back into education at a basic level and learning about my depression, why it happened but, most of all, what I could do to get a better future. I remember sending out over 60 CVs for jobs that I thought would fit around my new situation, not 1 reply, it was soul destroying age and disability are like a red light to employers (regardless of government efforts) as well as the old, you are over qualified or under qualified excuses.
My Gp offered Pills and counselling but I wanted a more natural route if possible and counselling was simply not for me. Finally I secured the services of a life coach / hypnotherapist, and THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE, I discovered so much about myself and the negative way I talked to others and myself, I discovered that all I needed was help to focus on a positive future and see life from a new perspective, a helping hand, not the scrutiny of my potty training and troubled past which made the pain worse.... I had read self help books and listened to the generic mass market CDs which were full of great theory but these (in my opinion) can never replace the personal attention of a skilled therapist who can create a recovery program around your personal situation, helping motivation keeping focused on your goals as well as teaching positive ways of copping with challenges, it was clear to me that as we are all individual, unique people we need a unique therapeutic approach which, books etc, can't offer.
I needed to learn how to accept and cope with, my disability which had knocked my confidence and still gives me discomfort daily but, I decided to get on with living my life in the best way I could with whatever skills and resources I had available to me.
So my journey into my new life and career began. Looking back I can see that the thought of making changes that would lead to my new life, was frightening and challenging however, I began as a volunteer crisis line operator with "Mindline" and began part time training as a counsellor. I realised that counselling was not the route for me, it was to analytical, slow and to focused on the past (courses for horses.....). I sold anything that I owned that was not tied down and maxed out the credit cards and invested it in my future qualifications.
As I progressed my wife and I decided to take a massive gamble, we sold our family home at a loss to clear the debts and moved to WSM where I was able to continue my training by attending a 1 year course at the South wests largest Solution Focused hypnotherapy training school and gained the HPD (Hypnotherapy Practitioner Diploma) - DHP (Diploma SF Hypnotherapy and SF Psychotherapy) qualification which qualified me as a modern Solution focused clinical Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist and I gained my OU undergraduate qualification.
Since then I have studied the human givens with Joe Griffin, I have studied with Trevor sylvester of "The Quest Institute, I have studied at great length, Mckenna and Bandler NLP and done courses studying many other high profile NLP practitioners and hypnotists to gain and make available to my clients, a wide range of approaches to my work.
Make no mistake, nothing changes till we decide to take action to commit to make changes for a better life and we sometimes need a helping hand to do this. I remember I was told by my senior lecturer, David Newton, at a time when I doubted my self and my skills, to, get a backbone, and I did!. My training costs have out stretched my income for years which, was a worry but I assure you, as time goes by the benefits out way the negatives and I would do it all over again.
I have met some truly wonderful, inspirational, motivational, honest people on my journey and would not be where I am today without their help, advice and coaching yes, I discovered and accepted that, I, and, we all, need a little help now and then.
I will be eternally thankful to all of them for their support, time and for teaching me the skills I needed to take back my life (especially my wife and 2 sons who tolerated and supported me through some hard and challenging times).
I am now proud to be registered with the GHR, GHSC, NCH, AfSFH, CNHC and NHS directory, agreeing to abide by the ethical rules laid down by these organisations and I continue to learn and develop my skills through CPD and supervision.
To end, I know there are some that read my story and feel that I do not have much to complain about, and I agree, there are many people that have had a harder history than mine but, the reason for this story is not to bleat or gloat but, to show that there is light at the end of the tunnel if you look for it, invest in yourself and get the right help and support.
Hypnotherapy is not magic, it just feels that way, you may need 2 sessions, you may need 12 and as with all psychological work there are no guarantees BUT, any positive change is better than non.
I work to inspire my clients, I believe I have a genuine empathy, a strong desire and commitment to help those who help them self to have a brighter life.
How has it panned out for me? I can honestly say that, for the first time ever, I am living a life that feels just right for me, I love my work and hope to do it till I drop, Would I change any part of my past, no, my past is what made me the person I am today.
